We lost John’s mother yesterday morning. We knew it was coming, especially the last week. Not that that makes it any easier or better, but it wasn’t a surprise. John & I went down last Sunday night to go over some things with his sister. We were able to visit with Nana for a little bit. She was talking a bit with us, although she mostly mumbled.
I got an email on Thursday morning that she had declined rapidly & if we wanted to see her again, we probably should do it soon. I picked up Darci before practice & took her, Camryn, & the T’s out to visit. That was horribly, horribly hard. Probably the hardest part of it was looking around & seeing Camryn hugging Taryn & both of them sobbing.
John picked up the boys after work & they went down to say goodbye. John said she squeezed his hand, so I’m pretty sure she knew we were all there. She only nodded that she understood when his sister told her we were there to see her. Unfortunately, Caitlin couldn’t make arrangements to get there before Friday night.
John & I met her back down there Friday after work; she didn’t want to go alone. Nana never woke up while we were there then.
We got up Saturday morning, John ran the girls to the gym for practice, stopped & picked up meds on his way home, while I took a shower & got ready for Darci’s baby shower in the afternoon. He’d been home maybe 5 minutes when he got the call from his sister that Nana was gone. He wanted to leave immediately, but wanted me to go with him. We packed up everything I’d need for the shower & drove separately. It was hard, but like I said, not unexpected. We were there the entire morning. I left straight from there to head over to the gym for the shower. I had Caitlin call me (from work) so I could tell her. We kind of agreed that, since Cait was the last one to get to see her, maybe she realized everyone had said their goodbyes & it was okay to go on. I chose not to tell the girls until after the shower, & even waited until we were home to tell the T’s. John took care of telling the boys. He also went with his sister to the mortuary to handle all the paperwork & details. I think he got home about 30 minutes before I did last night.
It was easier than I thought it would be to tell the girls. Maybe the visit Thursday helped, since they kind of knew what to expect & that it would be soon.
I spent a lot of time this morning thinking back on our history together & crying. John & I talked about many of those memories. Here are some of those things:
- Several years before John & I were ever *us*, I told a friend that if I could pick my mother-in-law, I’d pick Sandy.
- She welcomed me into her family wholeheartedly.
- She was there with me for the birth of every single one of my babies.
- She was the one who encouraged me that I really could homeschool. She said if I could watch an inchworm crawl across the porch with the kids & make fishing poles with sticks, yarn, & paperclips, I could homeschool. She said she thought I’d be great at it.
- Because my mom was busy with her own little boys, I remember calling Sandy several times to ask her how to do something.
- When I was pregnant with Kiernan, John & I were having some problems. I took the keys & left. I went to Sandy’s house & she let me cry, then encouraged me to go home & talk.
- She was always there to encourage me, no matter what, whether she agreed with me or not.
We may have grown a little more distant over the past few years, but I’ll still miss her desperately.