My own little corner of the bloggy universe….

March 4:44

Mar 26
4:44
5 months 23 days
25 weeks
175 days
4,200 hours
252,000 minutes
15,120,000 seconds

It’s been an extremely hard week. I don’t wanna do this anymore. 😢😢😢

Mar 19
4:44
5 months 16 days
24 weeks
168 days
4,032 hours
241,920 minutes
14,515,200 seconds

There are a lot of days I don’t think I can make it thru. Then there are those very few moments that I think maybe I can. Today would not be one of those.
Someone told me the other day it was good to see a smile on my face. They’re very rare… 💔

Mar 12
4:44
23 weeks
161 days
3,864 hours
231,840 minutes
13,910,400 seconds

Longest time period of my life. I hate it….so, so much. 💔

Mar 5
4:44
5 months 2 days
22 weeks
154 days
3,696 hours
221,760 minutes
13,305,600 seconds

John’s headstone is sitting by his grave, waiting to be permanently installed. It’s beautiful; I hate it, but it’s so perfect. The font looks a little like his handwriting. Everything is entwined, which is exactly how our lives were. I feel so lost without him. It seems like it was just yesterday, yet an eternity ago. No, it’s not really getting easier. Sometimes I wonder where everyone is that said “if you need anything….” No, I don’t have the emotional fortitude to reach out for help. No, I won’t be calling you (unless your name is JoAnn or a family member’s.) No, I wouldn’t turn down a call from anyone to check on me. Yes, I’m still completely heartbroken.

I see a grief counselor on Tuesday. No, I am absolutely NOT ready for that, but I don’t think I can put it off any longer. 💔

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